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Chuy tries to rationalize his laziness by arguing that 34 is too old to attend a party. The gang discusses the quality—(or, lack-thereof)—of the building’s toilet paper. Chuy plans to fight nature’s shortest beasts.

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In a very touching segment, the gang learns about a Dale Dudley who likes to give back to the community. Then the guys entertain the idea of adopting a new life philosophy—apathy and detachment. Dale also plays some old answering machine messages from his days as a ladies man… which leads right into our next topic: A new flesh-eating STD is spreading across the globe!

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