Rating Our Worst Yelp Reviews

Yelp Poster

How often have you felt the need to reach out to a business and let them know about your customer service experience? Most likely, if you had a positive experience you smile to yourself, let an employee know you will return and even recommend them to a friend or two. Then you move on with your life.

What about when it’s bad – or you perceive you didn’t get what you deserved out of the experience?

Hell hath no fury like a Yelper. It’s become the professional complainer’s forum for justice.

We recently went through our Yelp account to figure out why we had such a low score. Surely this many people don’t hate Skynard? Most of the reviews seemed to be about a personality that was fired, people who disagree with our morning show’s politics or the same cliché complaints every radio station gets.

The Yelpers seemed to have one thing in common: their other reviews were all low and involved dramatically complaining about nothing.

We decided to rate some of our bad reviews in hopes that to get the word out and improves our overall score. 

1) Same Complaint, Different City

Every radio complaint in every market: “You fired … and I am mad. Also, play more shit local music!” One Star *.

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

2) Bobby Bones

Let’s rephrase this: I am a giant pussy and can’t handle real talk, controversy or drama because the world is frightening. Therefore, I need a show that recites pre-written jokes (by an actual DBM cast member) and talks about the latest Taylor Swift controversy to teens that like shit country. One Star *

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

3) Skynard

The ole “I’m mad because you don’t play what I want when I want it.” Z102 left because we beat their ass years ago. A man with impeccable music knowledge (who can’t spell ‘Skynyrd’) should be able to recognize our superiority. One Star *

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

4) News Radio KLBJ

Wrong station you bumbling idiot! You want us to trust your political opinion yet you can’t even do enough research to find the right KLBJ to complain about (takes two seconds). Furthermore, Yelp is not the place to bitch about politics. But yeah, Rush sucks. Two Stars **

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

5) Worst

Dudley and Bob *are. Again, another political complaint by someone who is posting only because their belief systems where challenged  (rest was too boring to read). One Star *

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

6) Opinions

How dare live, local and passionate talk hosts have opinions! Here’s more ‘Skynard’ instead. No Stars

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

Dead Dog

It’s C-a-r-i-s-s-a you halfwit!  Also, who attacks a person’s dead pet? Loser.

Other than that you nailed it. Three Stars ***

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

7) Boston

Two stars because you heard a Boston song twice in one day? Okay. Two Stars back at ya **

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

8) Yelling at Staff

Clearly we have someone who does not get radio or the show (or maybe they really do). Three Stars ***

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

9) Not Enough Pink Floyd

Half the people complain because we play too much, for this guy it’s not enough. Hey Hugh, what sound does playing Pink Floyd in it’s entirety make? *click*

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

10) Community Radio

I’ll have you know my tax dollars pay for those DJs to mouth breath into a mic while waxing poetic about their new windbreakers in-between a 25 minute Wilco songs! Two Stars **

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

11) Glitter Gulch

This long, lame post can be summed up with: “bring back glitter gulch.” Also, we ran Stern out of town (granted he was on a weak signal and the station itself sucked). Two Stars **

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

12) Fired My Favorite

“I only listened during one time, to one show.” Then clearly we need fans like you (oh and I think the station has got along just fine). One Star *

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

13) Laugh

I read your Yelp reviews to laugh.! Two Stars **

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

14) Bilious

At least Dale and Bob are consistent with their programing: 15 years of dour in the morning, on KLBJ! Three Stars ***

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

15) Fart and Titties

Wait… Fart and Titty jokes are a product of the evening shift! Three Stars ***

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

 

16) Doodley & Boob

Who has this much time? You just sit around listening to talk radio and writing novels on Yelp. Get a life! Two Stars **

Also, we won a Chronicle Award???

screenshot of a Yelp review

 

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