8 Simple Health Tips to Survive Music Festivals
At many of last year’s music festivals, I saw far too many dummies being dragged out of crowds by their friends, freaking out on drugs or being helped by medical staff (ahem Chuy). Partying shouldn’t be this difficult! Follow my health tips and you’ll be feeling fine before, during and after every music festival! Trust me, I’ve experimented on myself.
CJ Morgan is not a doctor, he just plays one on TV. Furthermore, he does not know what he is talking about but has survived over a decade of hard core festing.
1) Eat, Take Vitamins
Eat a healthy, fruit based breakfast and take all of the above vitamins to keep your immune system and intestines running smoothly.
2) Neti Pot
First and foremost, it’s important that you clean out all the gunk that accumulates in your nose and throat. I use a Neti Pot and gargle with salt water before and after each day of festing. Be sure to thoroughly clean your pot and use distilled or boiled water as you do not want to get a brain fungus.
3) Drink a lot of Water
Adderall can keep you going but water will keep you alive. Proper hydration is probably the most important and overlooked thing at any outdoor music festival (and in life).
4) Powder Your Bod
This is more of a personal preference than actual way to stay alive. I like to use a shot of Gold Bond on my crotch, ass and feet to keep those areas from turning into a sweaty pile of itch-rot by the end of the weekend.
5) Drug Right
Yes, drinking heavily, dropping zippy dips or taking a few hits of LSD sound like a blast. However, those drugs really take a toll on your already exhausted body and brain. Try something safe and natural like hash oil or shrooms. You might freak out but you won't die.
6) Shower Before Bed
Clean off the dust, sweet and skin cells from the people you have been grinding with before going to bed.
7) Clean Your Ears with Peroxide
When you shower, clean out your ears with peroxide. Some doctors have said somewhere this is also an area in which we can catch infections and colds
Don’t try to be a hero and power through, your body needs rest. Party harder and smarter by actually getting some zzzzzs. There is no such thing as catching up on sleep later so crashing for a week after the festival doesn’t cut it.
9) Place Crystals in Your Window Sill
Charge crystals in the sun and moonlight than place them in your window to keep the negative energy out and attract positive vibes to your chakras.
DISCLAIMER: Though obviously satirical, we need to inform you the advice, views and opinions above are CJ's not KLBJ's, that of the SXSW, ACL Fest, it's promoters or any sponsors. If you happen to think that you are a dummy and deserve to get sick.