Bill and Ted Have an Excellent Announcement
Mar. 20, 2019
Alex Winter (and that other guy, we forget) from Bill and Ted took to the Internet to announce something huge for those of us who love the concept of being excellent to each other.
20 Ways Weed Can Actually Kill You
A bale of weed falls on your head, crushing your skull.
You mistake your novelty pistol pipe for an actual gun.
While wearing headphones and smoking a blunt, you loudly start rapping along with DMX lyrics and accidentally threaten everyone you pass.
Marijuana is the name of an escaped circus bear that mauls you on the way to work.
While at a party, you partake in the mary jane and end up forgetting to wear a condom. You later contract syphilis and take your own life.
You become this guy so you have no identity and die inside.
You slip on a baggie of green and fall off a cliff
Someone almost busts you smoking so you toss out the joint and set your house on fire.
It wasn’t even weed in the first place, it was crack... you just didn’t notice because you were too high on crack.
While attempting to spark up a doob on bike ride, you lose your balance and fall over the rail. The resulting head injury leaves you in a coma and eventually your family takes you off life support.
The cheap brand of rolling papers you use gives you a paper cut. Untreated, that wound festers and you die after contracting gangrene.
Field of Dreams
You wander off into a field of marijuana and get lost. Eventually, you just lie down and sleep forever.
High, you confront an open carry advocate and call them a pussy. They get mad and shoot you in the face.
You eat a handful and choke on it.
A semi-truck full of weed veers off the highway and crashes into your bedroom.