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Blog > B-DOE's Blog > Time Honored Tradition of Littering in Austin

Time Honored Tradition of Littering in Austin

Have you defaced a helpless conifer yet?
Photo: (KLBJ) 93.7 KLBJ / B-DOE

It's that time of year again when Austinites litter the sides of highways with dumpy decorations to celebrate baby Jesus, or Kwanzaa, or Chanukah, or Festivus for the Restivus. Rowdy Rocker Katie has confirmed this...
Katie sees trash in Austin... I mean decorated trees

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I can remember a time when only a few trees were decorated on 360. It looked festive and people always cleaned up their mess in a timely fashion. Now, much like hipsters, the trend seems to have spread everywhere with no end in sight. See a tree with pines on it? Better decorate it!



Now you animals have taken the "decorating" craze to a new level. I've seen trees decorated by ADVERTISEMENTS! Nothing says 'Tis The Season like destroying the environment while marketing your wares.



Telling yourself you'll take down this dribble in January, then never getting around to doing it, makes you a giant ahole. The "decorations" might look nice on all the helpless conifers, but one good rain, or GAWD help us all if a wet freeze rolls through town, and the whole lot looks like trees from a drug fueled Krampus all-nighter.



The worst is when people driving on the already congested and atrocious highways in Austin enjoy this weak attempt at art and SLOW DOWN TO ENJOY IT! Nothing says "we're an advanced civilization" like purposefully increasing congestion on major thoroughfares to appreciate litter.



We might as well start a new tradition of burning dung in trash cans in front of these trees so we can meet our fellow Austinities and shoot the breeze. We can all talk about how great Austin used to be while gorging on Gluten Free Fruitcake and drinking nonalcoholic Eggnog wearing fingerless gloves and an imported Yak hair knitted beanie.



If you do assault these defenseless and unwitting trees, please get your lazy ass back out there in January and pick up after yourself. You can always send your wacky pictures of Holiday splendor and idiocracy to BDOE@klbjfm.com.

Side note - This world is full of jerks.

*** It's come to my attention that people are actually 'stealing' the trash, I mean 'decorations', from these poor trees on the sides of the road in Austin. Here's some advice... don't leave your money dangling from helpless conifers on the sides of highways and then no one will think about stealing it. I'd be ok with this 'tradition' going away all together. I can see the city getting involved sooner than later and maybe trying to wet their beak with permits or some wacky policing of the decorating. If you want to honor a loved one, or have a fun tradition, then post a tree on your property or place of business and decorate it there. That way, if someone comes to steal anything from it, you can shoot them. After all, this is TEXAS.

@BDOEROCKS - Fbook/BDOEROCKS

Worried that you're packing on too many holiday pounds? Let this "dance" troupe from Russia give you some "twerk out" tips to trim that waistline.

Need to get away from the family during the holidays? Maybe 48 hours KID FREE in New Orleans is just what you need! Check out this photo gallery of things to drink, eat, drink and drink whilst you're there!

48 Hours in New Orleans

1 of 38
Cheers to 48 hours KID FREE
Acme Oyster House
Oyster shot
Raw oysters
Baked oysters
Truth in signage
Huge Ass Beers
Magic Tiki Stick
Pat O's
Hurricane
Sew pretty
Hand Grenade
Where are we?
Lucky Dogs
Piano Bar
Cafe du Monde
Coffee and beignets
Scenery
Block walking
Magnolia
Saxophone guy
Bourbon Street
Markets galore
Open air jam session
Art everywhere
Port of Call
BURGERS AND TYPHOON'S!
Liuzza's
Delicious Italian food
Chickie Wah Wah
Nakia and the Blues Grifters
Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop
PURPLE DRANK
Piano's everywhere
Batroom
Surrey's Cafe and Juice Bar
Heaven on a plate
Barista art
  • Cheers to 48 hours KID FREE
  • Acme Oyster House
  • Oyster shot
  • Raw oysters
  • Baked oysters
  • Truth in signage
  • Huge Ass Beers
  • Magic Tiki Stick
  • Pat O's
  • Hurricane
  • Sew pretty
  • Hand Grenade
  • Where are we?
  • Lucky Dogs
  • Piano Bar
  • Cafe du Monde
  • Coffee and beignets
  • Scenery
  • Block walking
  • Magnolia
  • Saxophone guy
  • Bourbon Street
  • Markets galore
  • Open air jam session
  • Art everywhere
  • Port of Call
  • BURGERS AND TYPHOON'S!
  • Liuzza's
  • Delicious Italian food
  • Chickie Wah Wah
  • Nakia and the Blues Grifters
  • Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop
  • PURPLE DRANK
  • Piano's everywhere
  • Batroom
  • Surrey's Cafe and Juice Bar
  • Heaven on a plate
  • Barista art
Cheers to 48 hours KID FREE
Photo by: 
B-DOE
What do you do when you'll be kid free for the first time in 19 months? Pop some spensive champagne to start the 48 hours of freedom. That's what!

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