Waiting Tables and Tips
Posted 2/7/2013 12:25:00 PM

For five years of my life I was a server and bartender at a local chain owned crab shanty. I had a lot of great times, made some money and a lot of close friends. However, I always hated the attitude that comes with corporate restaurants and their clientele. First off, let me make this clear: If you cannot afford to tip, do not go out and eat. If you get bad service, then leave a minimum 15% and go talk to the manager. Servers make $2.13 an hour and in our restaurant society, they ARE entitled to some sort of tip (no matter how bad the service is). Don’t get me wrong – there are a lot of terrible servers. Restaurants tend to attract young college students (who have other priorities) and people who can’t do anything else and bounce from job to job.   

That being said, servers are not just waiting on you. They have other tables, have to run food, bus, participate in stupid sales contests AND deal with assh*les.

So please, don’t be a terrible tipper. Here are some stories I’ve gathered from fellow servers:

"One day I was working the patio and there were some kids trying to pet some of the local left over shimp theives (raccoons) that would come up and feast on our dirty tables. We probably didn't have a busser that day so there were a few dirty ones around. I tried to shoo the raccoons off the patio. Well they became angry with me and one jumped off the table, ran at me and started attacking my left foot. I kicked the little bastard and it ran over to one of the large picnic tables that had a cracker basket sitting in the middle of the table. It raided the cracker basket, throwing all the cracker packages onto the floor then jumped up on the railing stopped and looked at me as if to say “what you gonna do now bitch”. By then i had a full paper towel roll in my hand and i'll tell you what i did...i hummed that roll of paper towels at his sorry ass, nailed him and sent him flailing to the ground below." Captain’s note: Those Racoons loved crab stuffed shrimp.21 Things Waiters Dread

21 Things Waiters Dread

21 Things Waiters Dread

“I have had waiters that have spilt food on me and I have given them great tips because they were the best servers just clumsy. I have also given one penny to a few waiters that thought I was toxic waste and stood 10ft while taking my order or responding to a request I had, and did I mention that I had to literally get up and walk into the waiters station to get my waiter, then later on outside because she was neglecting my table and another table. I believe in tipping but only if you do your job and not treat me like I am toxic.” Captain’s note: I always leave a tip, then talk to a manager if it was that bad.

“Oh gosh were do I start..lol I hated it when guys would come to the bar and hit on me, when people would wave you over when you had a tray full of food or where taking someone else's order, when people would get mad at you cause the kitchen was out of something, or cause their food was taking along time, when people would run you to death and then tip like crap..if you cant afford to tip..there is always taco bell. I hated it when I was a manager and people wanted me to comp their food when they had eaten their whole plate, when they would order a drink and take a sip, say they didnt like it and order something else..expecting the first drink to be comp. I also hate it when you get the impatient table..once again if you dont have time to sit down and eat..their is always FAST FOOD places to eat at. I hated it when people would bitch about adding gratuity when it says it on the menu. I also hated it when people would want split checks, then after you take them the checks, say you know what I wanna buy her drinks or put his on my tab..What? Are you kidding me? I could go on all day…”. Captain’s note: Nail on the head.

"$21.32 on the VISA, $25.64 on the Amex, $17 out of this twenty, $8.23 out of this twenty, and can you make change for a fifty?"

"There was the time that you, me and the Horse took that pole vaulter chick to jump off the deck. she had the best ass ever. I held her hand as we jumped off the deck thinking that would get me somewhere with her...only to figure out later that you and horse got the best of that one as you got to stand behind me and her in her thong and stare at that hot ass. Can't believe ya'll didn't snap a photo, i guess this was pre-iphone." Captain’s note: Yes, that Texas State Pole-vaulter had an incredible rear... I miss college.

"The worst people are the ones who start off saying "I'm gonna take good care of you at the end, don't worry about it" they never tip. I generally go 15% regardless, but go higher if they're awesome." Captain’s note: These people always seem to expect to be "hooked up" too.

"The customer is always right!"

Restaurant vs. bar: get a patron drunk at a restaurant and they forget to tip you, get a patron drunk at a bar and they leave you $100. Also, my dad is the WORST TIPPER EVER. I've seen him leave $5 on $100 when the server did an outstanding job. It's now completely normal for one of us to stay behind or pretend to leave something at the table in order to slip the server some cash. Captain’s note: I had to train my parents as well.

"There was that one time a couple let me pick everything from their drinks to entrees and dessert... Asked if I wanted to have a threesome, then left me 50%". Captain’s note: Some man needs to put a ring on your finger.

"Hi, can we get a table for nine? Two adults, seven kids."

"If u didn't add gratuity I would've tipped u better. Ya right there's a line to add more. Sorry u came with a group of 6 or more! =]". Captain’s note: People who get offended by added grat just don't get it. 

"I knew a guy who worked at Landry's in El Paso who spit in a customer's glass of water prior to serving it because he felt that the customer was "mistreating him and was too demanding".
Captain’s note: That's terrible. I would never -ever have done that. No matter how mad I was at a table. But people should remember - don't F with the people who handle your food.

"Yeah, I'll have — hurr hurr guys shut up, I'm gonna do it — I'll have a water, with seven lemon wedges."



Posted By: CJ  
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