KLBJ Named Best Radio Station in Austin
Austin television news stations love to brag about themselves. Take for instance, KXAN who wrote a wonderful piece about their recent triumph in the local Nielson ratings.
Why can’t radio do the same thing? If we continually tell people we are the best and brag about our accomplishments (via press release) we will start to truly believe! So, as a representative of 93.7 KLBJ (between 7p – 12m) I am proud to release this official statement from myself.
(AP Austin) Central Texas radio listener(s) have made their opinion known with great hullabaloo as to who they dial into for great morning talk radio, classic rock, entertaining personalities and well crafted fart/dick jokes in the evenings.
According to science, 93.7 KLBJ is not just number one amongst Austin’s homeless - but the World’s best radio station. Over the course of the last few days, the station dominated all others leaving a path of destruction and utterly defeated enemies in their wake.
“Listener’s know who the bomb dot com is. We rock harder and are more real and free than the penises of seven Statue of Liberties combined… or is it peni? I’m not sure what plural for that word is. You know, multiple male genitals.” Evening disc jockey CJ Morgan said after taking a strong whiff from an unknown substance within a brown paper bag. “Furthermore” he added, “we are named after a President’s wang. Who else can say that?”
It’s not all about rocking cocks, however. The station and personalities are heavily involved in their community.
In November, the Dudley and Bob with Matt Morning Show raised $10,000 towards their Breaking and Entering charity. Midday radioman B-DOE regularly hosts a community service show called Local Insights and volunteers/ promotes numerous Austin charitable organizations. Drive time host LA Lloyd was heavily involved in this year’s Boot Campaign amongst other efforts including his neighborhood softball team. Eveningman CJ Morgan gambles heavily on the Texas Lottery, which supposedly benefits education.
An unnamed Emmis Austin Radio executive was said to strongly discourage “posting such nonsense [on the company websites]".
One area listener said he regularly tunes in for Mark, Ed and Sam. Another remarked “I miss Johnny Walker playing Bonecrusher every Friday at 5... hey, do ya’ll have any shirts?”
Morgan summed up the station’s continued success: “98 percent of radio listeners are more likely than not to be part of the 3% market share that captures at least half of the demographic within the viable age. Of that group, over half have listened to our station for at least some unspecified amount of time.”
When asked about the future, the disc jockey demanded we refer to him as the Wizard and went on a long rant about ‘ripples in space actually being sentient beings that are essentially pausing the video game of our existence to make celestial popcorn.”
93.7 KLBJ has been on-air in Austin since the early seventies.