Five Ways to Make Cash Selling Your Body to Science
Let’s face it, money is the key to happiness but the fat cats in Washington won’t give us our equal share. Luckily, there are a few easy ways in which we can sell our bodies (without having sex) and get rich quick.
1. Donate your Doo-Doo for Dinero
If there is one thing I am constantly creating, it's crap. So many different forms of stanky brown matter dribble out of my body and mind every year I should be able to pull down an easy 13k. It would be like a second job - doing what I already doo!
Thanks to a nonprofit organization called OpenBiome, you can cash in to the tune of $13,000 a year -- and save lives while you're at it. Since 2013, OpenBiome has been processing and shipping loads of it all over the country. The frozen stool is administered to patients who are very sick with infections of a bacteria called C. difficile. The bacteria can cause extreme gastrointestinal distress, leaving some sufferers housebound. Antibiotics often help, but sometimes the bacteria rears back as soon as treatment stops. That leads to a miserable, continuous course of antibiotics.
2. Sell your blood plasma ($20-$50 per donation)
Human Plasma is a clear liquid that contains mostly water but is also filled with enzymes, proteins and antibodies. It is the largest component in the human blood. Human Plasma is mainly used to create therapies that treat people with autoimmune diseases, burn victims and clotting disorders. When blood is being drawn an automated machine separates the human plasma from the other blood components which is then returned to the donor. You can receive a payout between $20-$50 per donation.
3. Donate your reproductive cells (5,000-$10,000 per egg, $30-$200 per sperm donation)
Once upon a time, I tried to donate sperm. Getting to jerk off inside a doctors office was pretty cool but I learned that if you’ve ever drank, smoked or done drugs… your sperm proably isn’t up to par.
Egg donor agencies allow women whose ovaries do not produce healthy eggs to become pregnant using another woman’s eggs through IVF. In the United States egg donors can receive anywhere from $5000-$10,000 per donation from egg donor agencies. Men can donate their sperm to sperm donor banks with a much easier process and also a bit less lucrative than an egg donation. Men are paid anywhere from $30-$200 per human cell donation. However that can add up to more in the pocket because men can donate hundreds of sperm samples.
4. Lay in bed for 70 days straight ($18,000)
This seems like an absolutely miserable way to make money. Let’s break it down: that’s $257 per day, 7 days a week, 24 hours in a day means you are getting paid about $11 an hour to be completely immobile and bored. Wait, that’s more than a fast food employee gets paid and you don’t have to put up with loser mangers, fat customers or a grease fryer. SIGN ME UP!
NASA uses this procedure to simulate some of the changes that occur in an astronaut’s body when going through space, weightless, during the flight. NASA will pay you to stay in bed for 70 days, 24 hours a day. You need to make sure you’re mentally prepared to spend 70 days in bed. Not everybody is comfortable with that. Not everybody can tolerate an extended time in bed. But remember the payout for this one….. $18,000!
5. Donate a Testicle ($35,000)
On a episode of “Extreme Cheapskates “a Las Vegas man figured out a way to make some money by signing up for medical trials. He saved himself more than $750. That inspired him to take it one step further. Most recently he also agreed to donate one of his testicles. But they didn’t just leave him hanging. They replaced it with an artificial one and paid him $35,000. It was reported that he used the money to purchase a Nissan 370 Z.
6. Enroll in psychological experiments, get your wisdom teeth taken out or test pharmaceuticals ($200 - $8,000)
In college, several of my roomates would do clinic trials at places like PPD and Cedra. Basically, you stay a couple of nights at a facility and they test pills on you or give you a placebo. I was accepted into two studies during college. The first one I was only a back up so I got $70 to stay the night instead of the $1,800 for the weekend plus being dosed. The second time I failed my drug test and was kicked out. Looking back, I’m lucky.