Describe Your Sex Life Using Only a Star Wars quote
Afraid? You will be... you will be.
May. 04, 2016
May the Fourth be with You!
How would you describe your sex life using only a Star Wars quote? Here are a collection of phone calls, tweets and zany clips from my show:
Make Cash Selling Your Body
Doo-Doo for Dinero | $13,000 per year
If there is one thing I am constantly creating, it's crap. So many different forms of stanky brown matter dribble out of my body and mind every year I should be able to pull down an easy 13k. It would be like a second job - doing what I already doo! Thanks to a nonprofit organization called OpenBiome, you can cash in to the tune of $13,000 a year -- and...
Sell Your Hair | $100 - $4,000
Time to trim my emo bangs and shave the chest! At websites like Hairwork.com you can post your gorgeous locks and have buyers bid on them. Be aware, you'll need to properly grow, clean, and groom your mane.
Donate a Testicle | $35,000
Perfect way for me to make $70k. Let’s be real, I don’t need to breed and my balls have done nothing but get me in trouble anyhow.
Reproductive Cells | 5-$10,000 per egg, $30-$200 per sperm donation
Once upon a time, I tried to donate sperm. Getting to jerk off inside a doctors office was pretty cool but I learned that if you’ve ever drank, smoked or done drugs… your sperm proably isn’t up to par.
Lay in bed for 70 days straight | $18,000
This seems like an absolutely miserable way to make money. Let’s break it down: that’s $257 per day, 7 days a week, 24 hours in a day means you are getting paid about $11 an hour to be completely immobile and bored. Wait, that’s more than a fast food employee gets paid and you don’t have to put up with loser mangers, fat customers or a grease fryer.
Sell your blood plasma ($20-$50 per donation)
I did this once and it was the most miserable experience for the smallest amount of money I have ever received in my life. Still, it’s kind of for a good cause
Enroll in psychological experiments | $200 - $8,000
In college, several of my roomates would do clinic trials at places like PPD and Cedra. Basically, you stay a couple of nights at a facility and they test pills on you or give you a placebo. I was accepted into two studies during college. The first one I was only a back up so I got $70 to stay the night instead of the $1,800 for the weekend plus being dosed...