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Chip and Joanna Gaines Annouce Plans to Sell Their Sh*t

If you love Chip and Jojo’s insides, get ready to freak out! the Fixer Upper duo are launching a new product line: their shit.

You heard right. In March, Chip and Joanna will unleash Heap in the Hand, a fecal to decor recycling program that will be added to Magnolia.

Heap & Hand plans to keep Magnolia’s “signature slap a sticker on and sell it aesthetic” that includes the vintage and industrial styles of their original line, with their trademark earthy brown and moss green color palettes.

“At the core of the Magnolia brand is the desire to sell everything. We want to make every part of our show marketable, everything about us into a product which includes our shit. It doesn’t matter how undesirable that may seem, we know you will buy it” Joanna said in a press release.

Prices start at just under $30 an ounce and the line will be available in stores and online starting March 5th. The best part? You don’t have to drive to that shithole Waco to get your fill of Chip and Joanna’s shit.

UPDATE: The duo have announced plans to open a restaurant so you can pay a lot of money to eat their shit! Details coming soon. 

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Chip JoJo

 

About the Author

CJ Morgan is not a writer. He is a click-bait hack and angry radio DJ who is bitter over the fact no one ever clicks on his stuff and that he will never be famous enough.

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